Finally Know Why Google Left China

Update 1: Establishing financial relationship procedures:

Yesterday I finally completed all the procedures to verify Tongji University’s financial account with Google. Tongji was the last of all Google-sponsored universities to submit documents. We came first, but in reverse order. From application submission to completion: a full month.

Disclaimer: I am illiterate. Many characters below I cannot read. I don’t understand most words. My typing is purely involuntary muscle twitching caused by malnutrition. It does not imply that I agree with, support, oppose, or am aware of the described content. I assume no legal responsibility for the following content!

!@#$%^^&&***(()_~~!@#$ Twitching begins.

Google: Please prepare the following materials for payment. 1. NDA materials with Tongji University seal. 2. Tongji University legal person certificate with seal. 3. Tongji University tax registration certificate with seal. 4. English bank account info form with seal.

Me: This English form has many fields I can’t fill. Many items don’t exist in China. For example, “bank contact person” — who should I write?

Google: Just search online and fill in something.

Me: Done! Requesting approval from respected school leadership xxxxxx.

School leadership: Your casually filled info seems inaccurate. Not signing.

Google: It seems many schools have trouble with signatures. Fine, no signature needed, just the seal. Here’s a simplified bank account info form.

Me: School leadership, Google compromised. Here’s the new form, please review. Here’s the translated Chinese version.

School leadership: There’s no place for me to sign. Then I won’t sign.

Seal keeper: Without the leader’s signature, I will absolutely NOT stamp.

Me: Google, removing the signature line caused problems. The leader has nowhere to sign, so the seal can’t be obtained.

Google: You’re the last school in the country not done. Hurry up. Fine, here’s a Tongji-limited edition with the signature line added back.

Leader: Big signature flourish.

Me -> Finance Office

Tax cert keeper: This matter, you need to tell me in advance. I’ll be lenient and give you one copy. But the business license is at the University Office.

Me -> University Office

University Office seal keeper: I’ll give you a business license copy. Can stamp other things, but not the “NDA” seal. For confidentiality matters, go to the Party Office.

Me -> Party Office

Party Office: This seal isn’t casually given. You need to get a blue form from the Science and Technology Office first. Show me the form, then I’ll stamp.

Me -> Science and Technology Office

Science and Technology Office: This isn’t a research project. Nothing to do with us. Go to the Military Affairs Office.

Me -> Military Affairs Office

Military Affairs Office: Didn’t Google already withdraw from China? Why are you still colluding with Google? I don’t know how to handle this. Talk to our leadership. Or go to whatever governing department… we don’t handle this.

Me -> Finance Office

Finance Office: We’ve done everything we can. Why are you back? Go ask the University Office.

Me -> University Office

Me: Kicked around full circle, back where I started.

Seal keeper: I won’t stamp (no benefit to me, but potential liability; not stamping won’t affect my promotion or pay).

… (20 minutes of phone calls and arguing omitted)

Seal keeper: Fine, I’ll stamp. (You’re annoying me to death. Stamp it and get lost already.)

———————— Twitching ends ————————

Original story:

Google wanted to donate money to Chinese universities to set up Android labs. A good thing. But they insisted on following American procedures: verify the university’s legal identity, submit business license, tax license, legal person certificate, legal person signature, bank account info — all in English. Holy crap. Who knows where Tongji University’s business license is kept? Doesn’t Google know Chinese leaders don’t read English? You expect them to look up words in a dictionary? If you put a Chinese document in front of them and call them “sir,” they might not even glance at it. Unless it contains a stack of cash. Getting Chinese universities to do this is Mission Impossible. So far, no school has succeeded. Tongji is no exception. Whether this money will ever enter the university is questionable.